Joke of the day

[02SilverStroke]

Good Eyesight?

Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself. "You know, Harvey," she comments, "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons, and my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenburg!"

She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself."

Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well...there's certainly nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Services for Harvey will be held Tuesday morning at 10:30 at the First Methodist Church.

 

[W4RLR]

Be on the lookout

Terrorist watch list

 

[Scarlet_Nape]

Thanks, Ray!
That's an older one, but dang funny!!!

 

[drchris1024]

Terrorist watch list

Hadn't seen that before

 

[powerboatr]

no words needed 2

 

[powerboatr]

look out rooster diesel

they are coming towards you

 

[roosterdiesel]

Didn't Bill post these awhile back. Glad I never ran into them, prolly would had a blow out or something when I was passing them!

 

[powerboatr]

Didn't Bill post these awhile back. Glad I never ran into them, prolly would had a blow out or something when I was passing them!

i first that it was your UPS gal with more parts

 

[jharvey]

Love dress??

A woman stopped by unannounced at her married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed t he lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

 

[BamaSixGun]

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed t he lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

thats a goodin john.