bling821
Full Access Member
Why did men invent shopping carts to use at the grocery store?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
Joke of the day
- Thread starter 95_stroker
- Start date
whatabudro
Launched
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- Jun 12, 2005
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West Texas Lawyer moves to Dallas
> >A West Texas lawyer went duck hunting just outside Dallas. He shot and
> >dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of
> >a fence.
> >
> >As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
> >his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
> >
> >The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
> >and now I'm going to retrieve it."
> >
> >The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
> >coming over here."
> >
> >The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
> >Texas and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you
> >and take everything you own."
> >
> >The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
> >settle disputes in Dallas. We settle small disagreements like this
> >with the "Three Kick Rule."
> >
> >The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
> >
> >The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land,
> >first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
> >on back and forth until someone gives up."
> >
> >The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
> >that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
> >local custom.
> >
> >The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
> >to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel
> >toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His
> >second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
> >mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear
> >end
> >sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
> >
> >The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
> >feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you
> >old fart. Now it's my turn."
> >
> >[I love this part....]
> >
> >The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the
> >duck."
Just for you Tx Atty
> >A West Texas lawyer went duck hunting just outside Dallas. He shot and
> >dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of
> >a fence.
> >
> >As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
> >his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
> >
> >The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
> >and now I'm going to retrieve it."
> >
> >The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
> >coming over here."
> >
> >The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
> >Texas and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you
> >and take everything you own."
> >
> >The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
> >settle disputes in Dallas. We settle small disagreements like this
> >with the "Three Kick Rule."
> >
> >The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
> >
> >The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land,
> >first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so
> >on back and forth until someone gives up."
> >
> >The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
> >that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
> >local custom.
> >
> >The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
> >to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel
> >toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His
> >second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
> >mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his
rear
> >end
> >sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
> >
> >The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
> >feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you
> >old fart. Now it's my turn."
> >
> >[I love this part....]
> >
> >The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the
> >duck."
Just for you Tx Atty
DaveBen
SDD Senior Member
That is GREAT!!!
Dave
Dave
platinum01
Full Access Member
Don't mess with the old timers. That is a good one.
powerboatr
living well in Texas
yippe ay hey COW patty
heres Poop in your eye 
bryan I sure hope you dont need a psd litigator anytime soon
heres Poop in your eye
bryan I sure hope you dont need a psd litigator anytime soon
BamaSixGun
SDD Super Mod/Staff
i needed that good laugh, thanks budro!
Big K
SDD.com Hacker/Admin
LOL Yea I heard it before,
And I believe it was on South Park a few years back! HAHAHAHAHA
And I believe it was on South Park a few years back! HAHAHAHAHA
jvencius
Full Access Member
Big K said:LOL Yea I heard it before,
And I believe it was on South Park a few years back! HAHAHAHAHA
"We'll just have to Rochambeau for it--first I kick you square in the balls, then you kick me square in the balls--that's how we pick who wins..."
(or something like that--it's been a while since I saw that episode)
