Pert near cost me a job...
Long story, Reader's Digest version goes like this......................
I was planning on leaving work at noon one day as I was scheduled for laser eye surgery in Denver first thing the following morning....
So I am getting ready to leave work and boss says to me "hey, before you leave everybody in the plant is getting piss tested, go to admin first"
Well its a 90 mile drive home and I had JUST emptied the bladder prior to him telling me that. So I go to admin and follow the line to the piss sampler and fill out the required paperwork and sit and wait for my turn to fill the cup.
My turn comes and I go in the bathroom and pull Mr Winkie out and stand there, and stand there and stand there (well, you git the gist) and then I start to jump and wiggle and all the sudden a knock comes on the door and the piss recipient says.."is there a problem?" and I say "yeah, the well is DRY!!" he says "well, then we'll catch ya later!" I say "cool, catch ya later" and I proceed to leave and go home....
Five hrs later as I am approaching Cheyenne I get a call on my cell from the boss and he say's "dude, where are you and more importantly where is your piss?" I say "I am almost to Cheyenne and my piss is right in my bladder!!" He says, "you need to piss in a cup TODAY or we are going to fire you, we have paperwork here and no sample to accompany it and that constitutes grounds for refusal to submit which equals dismissal!"
I've got my wife, her father and his wife (who was accompanying us to serve as our return drivers) in the car and tell them we gotta turn it around and drive back so I can whiz in a cup for these jackwagons I work for.
Long story short, I drove from the center of Wyoming to Casper, to Cheyenne then to Rawlins then to Muddy Gap then on into Riverton at about 11 oclock at night to meet the Dr in his hotel room so I could take a leak and then got back on the road to head to Denver so I could make my eye appt which was scheduled for 7 am the next morning.
Pull up a map and look at the ground I covered in one night just to piss in a cup to keep a job I hated.
I dont work for them anymore, they are far more sorry I am gone than I am.