New rules for 2006

[Crumm]

I thought we might have a good time listing some new rules for 2006. See if we can keep it going.

 

[Crumm]

Rule 1

Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason
you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like
them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing
these days: mowing my lawn.

 

[Crumm]

Rule 2

There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of
this crap at the supermarket - water, but without that watery taste. Sorry,
but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour
some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

 

[Crumm]

Rule 3

Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're
a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a
bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect
it to contain?

 

[whatabudro]

Rule #4 Don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die?

 

[Crumm]

That one would fall into the same category as this one.

Rule 5

Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

 

[jharvey]

RULE #6

Ladies if you bring home a new pair of shoes you must get rid of an old pair
I built a house not a shoe store

 

[powerboatr]

That one would fall into the same category as this one.

Rule 5

Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

 

[whatabudro]

Rule #7 I will run smooth over the next yuppie that slows down to 3mph to drive across railroad tracks in their 4x4 SUV.

 

[Big K]

I will run smooth over the next yuppie that slows down to 3mph to drive across railroad tracks in their 4x4 SUV.

Uggh,

I have to deal with that everyday.

I go over at least 5 Tracks on the way to work! -mad