welcome to SDD
NAPA relay 109 is an automotive realy, basically the same thing as the OEM unit.
The Stancor relay is a 'generic' relay, also rated for much more capacity. Guzzle's page is good on the upgrade. I will be doing that this spring. Its not application specific.
You may also want to take a look at Dieselmann's page on diagnosing hard starts-
PowerStroke diagnosis
other things to check would be oil level (it won't run if the oil is too low),
IIRC, you can run a scan or manually check the resistance of the glow plugs to see if any are bad.
I would also check battery and ground cables to make sure that you have good connections.
dennis
ps: go to the user panel and put your truck info in your signature so we know what all you have done to it so far.