Dude, I’m sorry, but she is a very selfish person, and my guess is that she could care less about you and how you feel. Wanna know how I know?
If I say anything about it she will get all pissed off at me.
If your partner gets mad and defensive when you tell them that something they did hurt you, then they don’t care. If someone gets mad and defensive when you bring something up, 9 times out of 10, it is because they feel guilty about it, have lied about it, etc. If you can’t talk to her without her getting pissed, then she does not respect you.
I ask her if I she wants me to come up there? She says well it's all seniors so prolly not.
Excluding your significant other from a group is another indicator that she doesn’t care. When I go hang out with my old high school buddies, my favorite part is that I get to bring my wife along (who is from another side of the state, and did not know these guys from Adam). She has made good friends with all of them over the 9 years we’ve been together. She is part of the crowd now, and I love that. I didn’t want to exclude her from my group of friends because they were “mine and not hers” or because we were some exclusive clique. I looked at it this way, which was “She’s my wife, she’s coming with me, if these guys don’t like her or accept her, then they are not really my friends.” SHE is most important. SHE is what matters. SHE is the one I want to be with. If anybody says they will only take me and not her, then tough luck to them, because we come as a package deal. I do not hide her in shame from my friends. Catching my drift?
If she thought you’d be an odd-one-out and not fit in at the get-together, that is fine and dandy. Can’t hide from the truth. My wife was certainly odd-man-out for a while. However, if she really cared, she would have had you come anyway and worked to get you accepted to the group so that next time, and the time after, and the time after that, she didn’t have to leave you behind to go party with her pals (just like I did). At what point in time is she going to realize that having to choose between being with her friends of being with her significant other is a crappy choice? Why not be with both?
This isn’t really a quote, but it helps my last and final point stand out… which is, you made a sacrifice to be near her in your choice of schools. She stuck it in your face and chose a different school, even after you did that for your relationship
I hate to tell you, pal, but the writing is on the wall. Have fun while it lasts, but it isn’t going to last unless SHE, NOT YOU, changes her attitude and the way she sees you and your relationship. She is still very selfish and immature in the way she handles herself. There are two things that can happen here. Either she realizes this as she grows up, realizes that she does love you and wants to be with you, and thus ends up re-evaluating and emphasizing your relationship, or, she stays selfish and immature about the relationship (ie, she never realizes that she loves you, which means she does not love you) and things stay the same and/or get worse, until you have had enough and leave after some emotional blow-up.
The important thing is that SHE needs to realize all of this, and SHE needs to change the way she sees things. There is nothing you can do to make her do so. If the love is real, she will do it voluntarily and without your influence. If not, then she will stay selfish and immature. YOU do not have to change to accommodate her selfishness. Don’t let her buffalo you, because you’ll just be buffaloing yourself into staying in an unhappy and loveless relationship out of convenience.
True love means you don’t have to compromise or sacrifice, because you don’t see it that way. You want to do the thing together more than you want to do it apart, so the “compromise” really becomes “what I wanted to do anyway” and the “sacrifice” becomes “what I was going to do anyhow”.
I’m not telling you to break up with her, I’m sure you guys have fun together sometimes. Just don’t let her run roughshod over you. Stand up for yourself, in as nice and non-threatening a way as possible. If she loves you, it won’t even be a problem. If she doesn’t, well, you’ll figure it out pretty quick. She’ll get defensive, angry, and try to justify the way she treated you, and try to tell you that you are being a jerk for not letting her do what she wanted to do, completely neglecting the fact that she was a jerk for not including you to begin with.
Anyway, long post, sorry, but still my .02…
