thanks joat,
after reviewing the manual again, i'm thinking of 1 mistake that i've done both times. directions say to place a bead and i have been smearing the stuff. i wonder if that would really make a difference. also, i noticed the last time where it was leaking was the rear passenger side. it looked as if the oil pan was the slightest bit bent down and now i'm going to try to give it a little bend upward in hopes that it will all work together in giving a tighter bond around and under the rear main seal and especially to that rear leaky corner.
look at the bright side, i now am able to remove the engine in a record-breaking time of 49 minutes including oil pan removal. (transmission previously out of course)