How'd you have handled this??

[Tail_Gunner]

Update

My daughter is now safe at her older brother's house in Nashville. I talked to and she talked to a high level administrator for student affairs at the college and this is what is going to happen there:

1. A college "restraining order" is being placed against the two girls known to have beaten my daughter. If investigation shows additional girls participated in the assault, it will be extended to cover them also. Any contact, or harassment the attackers have with my daughter or vandalism of her car, etc will result in immediate expulsion from the college.

2. My daughter is getting a room in a different dorm. Currently, one of her attackers, lives in the next room. It will likely be a room to herself since she is not a freshman and is just a couple of months away from being considered a junior. The dorms have new security systems where you have to be a resident to get in.

3. I found out today that members of the football team were there also, and watched the beating, doing nothing to stop it. So in addition to the girls b-ball team, the football team will have a group meeting with school administrators. They will stress that the assault of other students will not be tolerated and dealt with severly. Even the witnessing of such acts and doing nothing to aid the student being attacked will be dealt with harshly.

4. After my daughter was removed to another room for her safety,
the other girls got evicted from the hotel in a hasty manner, hotell management deemed the room was trashed and assesed a $700 cleaning/repair fee to those remaining girls.

Tx_Atty's idea of suing for civil battery is a good idea. I think I will keep that in my back pocket in case parents of the other students comes after us seeking $$$ for the cleaning fee or airline tickets home or whatever. Which does bring up a question. Is there any sort of civil court charge that can be made for people who could have acted to stop or prevent the assault, but didn't? Some sort of negligence thing or ???

So far, I think I am fairly pleased with the amount of aggressiveness the college is handling this situation. The lesson I've learned is, future fall or spring breaks, my daughter is coming home or going to visit her brother or something. No more Florida trips.

I'm not going to pound home the "under-aged" drinking thing anymore than I already have. After all, there is a certain amount of "practice what you preach" here. I think many of the under 40 crowd around here will appreciate that. When I was under "21", the drinking age was 18. It didn't get raised to 21 until I was older than that anyhow. But it's a different story with momma.

Thanks for all the comments & suggestions.

 

[jharvey]

Glad to hear things are being taken seriously at school and hope that they do follow through.

Probably wouldn't hurt for her to enroll in a jujitsu class....you know to help take out her frustrations and pent up emotions over this episode

 

[Got Diesel]

I will give a little bit of a comment in on this one. Seeing as I am 21 and in college and so forth. First things first most of the so called college friends in college really aren't much for friends. You have friends and you have party friends. You daughter was not there with friends. She was there with party friends. Her number one mistake right there. You don't go out of town with party friends. Don't get me wrong here there are real friends that you can party with. But those friends are the ones you can do something with besides just party.

On to the beating, it's good that the security showed up and stopped it. And it was also great of her brother to go down and bring her home.

I don't know much at all about the legal stuff.

I do know one thing, I bet that your daughter has learned about the whole friends things. I bet you that she won't make the same mistake again. If she wants to do something like that again, make sure she does it with someone who will take care of her.

I personally have never gone on a trip for spring break or anything like that and I am in my 3rd year. I come home and work my ass and make as much money as possible. But that's just me.

 

[DaveBen]

wow... when it comes to daughters, it's something us men have no clue about.
I would probably let my wife handle it, because as a father, your in a no win situation. Women know how to infight with other women.. We do not.

Ain't that the truth...

Dave

 

[BamaSixGun]

i have one thing more that i would like to add.

ya'll remember natalie holloway, from birmingham, al, who came up missing on a senior class trip to aruba?

still no clue as to what happened to her. this case is enuff for me, to teach my kids, that you dont have to drink, or go get laid on a class trip, or any other immoral act to have a quote "good time"

it just isnt worth it.

 

[Tail_Gunner]

ya'll remember natalie holloway, from birmingham, al, who came up missing on a senior class trip to aruba?

Until about two days ago, I used to think the whole reason for traveling in a group was to have the protection of the group in case of trouble. I never figured that trouble would come from within the group itself.

 

[Tx_Atty]

Kent, you mentioned liability for not stopping the attack - no, there isnt any unless there is some special relationship that creates a legal responsibility - an example - doctor/patient or parent/child. If a parent stands idly by while someone hits their child with a car and the parent could have prevented it, then there is liability. In your daughter's situation, noone there owed her any legal duty (moral is another story but doesnt get you anywhere). So, sadly, all she can do about those that stood around with their thumbs up their butts is to not associate with them anymore. That is hardly any satisfaction but that's all there is.

Im glad she wasnt seriously injured and that the school is stepping up and taking action.

 

[bushpilot]

i have one thing more that i would like to add.

ya'll remember natalie holloway, from birmingham, al, who came up missing on a senior class trip to aruba?

still no clue as to what happened to her. this case is enuff for me, to teach my kids, that you dont have to drink, or go get laid on a class trip, or any other immoral act to have a quote "good time"

it just isnt worth it.

THOUSANDS of kids go on trips, ski, spring break etc...and NEVER have
anything BAD happen to 'em...Personally i think its a maturity thing...
miss holloway put herself in the worst possible situation...she left
her group, she was drunk, and apparently TRUSTED total strangers.

there are those that will LOOK for and take COMPLETE advantage
of those that let their guard down

Its a total f'in shame that we really cant trust anyone...including
"friends" (or some that we THINK are friends)...you dont meet REAL
friends over night...it takes YEARS.

i wouldnt want my daughter to go on these trips, 'specially under
age...but if i tell 'er NOT to go whats to stop er from going and
not TELLING me...and god knows at 18 theyre pretty much free
to go and do as they see fit (assuming im not providing some
financial hook or shelter).

I am teaching my kids (probably focused a bit too much on
the daughter...cause the boys are at risk too) to be AWARE of
their surroundings look around, watch for "strange" things/people
and dont trust ANYONE....its tough

you dont learn your limits w/ drinking over night either...

 

[Dieselpwrdredneck]

First off sorry to hear you and your daughter are having to go through all this

Being just out of college myself and being only 20 my omments are:
-There was only a handful of people that i remotly trusted in school,and they even let me down a couple times, when your in a situation like that i always said trust NO one
- I spent 2.5 years at an Agricultural Tech school (heavy drinking) I am not one bit ashamed to say that i never went to a party and got drunk or never got drunk once,i went to parties but didnt drink and i still had a hell of a good time, you dont have to have alcohol to have a good time i bet that is a lesson your daughter prolly learned the hard way unfortunatly

I personally have never gone on a trip for spring break or anything like that and I am in my 3rd year. I come home and work my ass and make as much money as possible. But that's just me.

-I hear ya man i hear ya there

Neal

 

[Tail_Gunner]

UPDATE

My daughter is back on campus. She has been offered her choice of two different rooms since one of the girls who attacked her, is her next door neighbor in the dorm. The "friends who turned their backs" on my girl and did nothing to stop the attack also live in adjacent rooms. So today, with the help of her boy friend and his frat brothers, she is relocating to a new, private dorm room.

I expect that the crap will really begin to hit the fan tomorrow, as far as administrative protective orders against the assailants and other disciplinary actions will begin to processed.