How'd you have handled this??

Tail_Gunner

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My youngest daughter is a sophmore in college. She went to Daytona Beach for spring break with several other girls from her school, some of them being on the womens basketball team. We have always raised her to stand her ground when she is in the right and not to take any s**t from anyone.

Apparently, late Wed night after some drinking (college kids drinking while on spring break :eek: :rolleyes: ), an altercation ensued resulting in several of the b-ball girls assaulting and beating up my daughter. Her so called "friends" just stood there and watched, doing nothing to intervene and stop the beating. Hotel security finally showed up, stopping the attack and moving my daughter to another room for the night for her safety. That morning, hotel management investigated the assault and evicted all the girls even though the room was paid for another night.

Because of fear for her safety, my wife and I told our daughter to leave Daytona Beach. If she felt unsafe with her "friends", not to worry about them and leave them there, which she did, leaving 3 girls stranded in Daytona Beach. She did make a police report, but the cops said because there was drinking involved, pressing charges might be in the end, a fruitless pursuit. Our son got emergency time off from work, got a one way ticket, and flew to Orlando to be with his sister, where she picked up him up at the airport. From orlando, they drove part way and then spent the night in a hotel, before resuming the drive this a.m.

So they are at this moment driving back to Nashville, where she will stay and relax for a day before driving back to school on Sunday.

I have already talked to one of the other girls mother, where she was upset that her daughter was stuck in Daytona Beach, without a ride or place to stay. I tried to reason with her, but obviously her daughter's situation was more important than the fact that her daughter did nothing but watch my daughter get beat up. My wife, pretty much blew a gasket, and told the mother that our only concern was the safety and well being of our daughter and she had better start looking for airline tickets or rental cars. I have also talked to the Dean of Students at the college so they can be prepared for some stories of questionable accuracy and prepare to initiate actions to protect our daughter from further "retaliation" from the other girls. My son took some pictures of his sister's bruises for use as evidence.

Thoughts, comments, ideas???
 

Maxtor

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wow... when it comes to daughters, it's something us men have no clue about.
I would probably let my wife handle it, because as a father, your in a no win situation. Women know how to infight with other women.. We do not.
 

BJS

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If she drove them down there then I think it would be reasonably prudent to offer a ride back to them even simply because they were not the attackers only poor friends who would not come to the aid of a friend in need.

That being said there is very little that you can do to ensure that there is protection offered to your daughter when she returns to campus.

Working on a university campus and being painstakingly aware of the campus politics The university is going to do everything that is within their power to distance themselves from what happened in FL, especially in light of the publicity that has come from the Duke lacrosse rape accusations. It is going to come down to a sense of what your daughter can do to mend bridges with her so called friends and the challenge on your part is to find out the true story and what instigated the attack in the first place.
 
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Kent,

Your daughter's safety was priority number one. If you what you/she did was for her safety, there is no second guessing it. It was the right decision.:sweet

If her friends feel "abandoned", then your daughter and they now have something in common. Their being inconvenienced is nothing compared to your daughter's safety. They and their family may not agree with the decision, and they are within their right to disagree. But, their opinion is not more important that what you feel is in your daughter's best interest.:2c
 

Tx_Atty

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you should hire a lawyer and sue them for civil battery. Then you should press university disciplinary charges. Since the attack was in Florida you would have to press criminal charges there. If you believe in not taking any crap, don't let this pass without a lot of heat.
 

95_stroker

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Ring ring....

Hi Dad, I'm kind of in a jam here........

Yes dear, it does sound like you are in a jam. Your mother and I have raised you and you are now 20 years old, please use the knowledge we imparted upon you while you were under our loving care to make the right decision. Oh and remember, we always love you no matter what.

Click.
 

BamaSixGun

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i would have never allowed my daughter to go to a place like florida for spring break. nothing good every comes out of a situation when alcohol is involved.

why put a loved one in a situation like that, knowing that they maybe around questionable people or places.

i know that hind site is 20/20, and that is easy to say after the fact, i guess i would have told my daughter to tell her so-called friends, "i'm leaving, and if you want to go too, get your stuff together and lets go, if not, C-YA, find your own room & board, and your own way home.

its a tuffy alright, but i am glad your daughter will be ok.
 

jharvey

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Kent, I can't answer as a parent as I don't have any children of my own, just nieces and nephews but for what it's worth I would have hinted at what Bama said but made sure she knew it was HER decision as to the course of action taken.

BamaSixGun said:
i guess i would have told my daughter to tell her so-called friends, "i'm leaving, and if you want to go too, get your stuff together and lets go, if not, C-YA, find your own room & board, and your own way home.
 

ktpauley

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Kent, IMHO you did the correct thing. We don't have kids, but our niece lives with us, and she is like our daughter. If that would have happened to her I would have gone to get her, and the H*** with her so called friends being stuck there. She, and her safety are priority 1. Her "friends" should have stepped in to stop the beating. Just my $.02. Keith
 

bushpilot

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i would have never allowed my daughter to go to a place like florida for spring break. nothing good every comes out of a situation when alcohol is involved.

why put a loved one in a situation like that, knowing that they maybe around questionable people or places.

i know that hind site is 20/20, and that is easy to say after the fact, i guess i would have told my daughter to tell her so-called friends, "i'm leaving, and if you want to go too, get your stuff together and lets go, if not, C-YA, find your own room & board, and your own way home.

its a tuffy alright, but i am glad your daughter will be ok.


at a certain age you gotta let 'em go & trust they know right
from wrong...she put HERSELF in this situation.

alcohol isnt responible...the actions of PEOPLE is...and ive been
around plenty of beer etc when NOTHING went wrong.

certainly I would not have wanted to cart these "friends" home when
they didnt step in like REAL friends SHOULD ! 'course we only know
ONE side of the story too.

sounds like shes learned LOTS of lessons...one of which is the friends
she THOUGHT she had arent to be trusted !
 

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