Engineers and Santa Claus

[RoyBoy]

I suppose y'all have seen this before, but it made me laugh anyways

Engineers and Santa Claus!​

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (cencus) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park his sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship not the monarch).

600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the same time that Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.

Author Unknown!

 

[BamaSixGun]

Roy, you just crushed millions of little kids christmas dreams.

Way to go!!!
​

 

[fordtrucker4life!]

All I can say is he does it somehow.

 

[powerboatr]

Roy, you just crushed millions of little kids christmas dreams.

Way to go!!!
​

thanks roy
i know whos just got scratched off

 

[RoyBoy]

thanks roy
i know whos just got scratched off

I haven't been on the list for a long time

 

[Maxtor]

I haven't been on the list for a long time

Roy;

You forgot that Santa Claus has an anti-gravity machine, therefore zero mass.

How do you think UFO's can turn 90 degrees at close to 5000 mph and not kill the life forms inside? Anti-gravity.

By the way.... true story,,, I was outside my house in 1951 and saw three ufo's of which two did a 90 degree turn at very high speed.

Only other time I saw one was in 1982 when I was flying from Sacramento to Redding in my Cessna 210 and almost hit a ufo...
My passenger and I both saw it.
And, no I do not drink nor take drugs.

 

[ktpauley]

Apparently he never saw "The Santa Clause". How do you think he gets into homes without chimneys, and a fireplace? Keith

 

[trackspeeder]

All I can say is he does it somehow.

Cheech n Chong says it's the magic dust.

 

[JLDickmon]

Cheech n Chong says it's the magic dust.

little for the reindeer...
little for Santa Claus...
little more for Santa Claus...

 

[Buffs F-350]

little for the reindeer...
little for Santa Claus...
little more for Santa Claus...