architect-builder
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Valentine's Day: Upon further review .. 
Your fourth-grade teacher told you that the best way to prevent mistakes in the future was to learn from the mistakes you'd already made.
So the day after Valentine's Day seems a good time to explore, fellas, What Went Wrong.
You can tell something went wrong last night since you woke up in the bed of your truck. ( (Probably not the first time for most of us)
) This is the surest indication that, as far as your sweetie is concerned, your savoir was not faire.
Next year, remember that ...
* No. 1: ... It's a bad idea to wait until Valentine's Day to order roses. And there was no chance -- none -- that she wasn't gonna notice that those blooms you presented to her last night are made of rice paper.
* No. 2: Chocolate, in one form or another, is indispensable on Valentine's Day. Had you taken the simple precaution of securing a bag of Hershey's Kisses while you were in the 7-Eleven looking for the last valentine card ("Happy Valentine's Day to My Dear Grandmother"), you could have saved yourself bunking with Fido, Maxie and Cujo.
* No. 3: Just because it says "wine" on the label doesn't mean it's romantic. And this pretty much applies to any wine that says "Boone's Farm."
* No. 4: I may be generalizing here, but most women are not going to react well to receiving a fire-engine red polyester teddy from the dollar store.
* No. 5: You know all of the romantic habits you've developed since you got married? Break them.
* No. 6: Some women don't like facial hair on any guy they're expected to kiss. It's always a good idea to ask.
* No. 7: Valentine's Day is about fantasy, not about gravity. Get rid of those comfort-fit jeans.
* No. 8: You're not Elizabeth Barrett Browning; leave the poesy to Hallmark.
* No. 9: In general, ordering spareribs covered with barbecue sauce is a bad dining strategy, romance-wise.
* No. 10: Take off the damn baseball cap when you go to bed.
* No. 11: Country music about a man leaving a woman, particularly at the altar, will not take you where you want to go.
* No. 12: On the other hand, a country song about a man losing his pickup is an innovative Valentine's Day wooing strategy.
* No. 13: Comparing one's current valentine with one's past valentines is the royal road to having no valentine.
* No. 14: The name's Cupid, not Stupid.
* No. 15: I looked it up: You don't get a pass on Valentine's Day evening just because that's your bowling league night.
* No. 16: If you take your valentine to a Valentine's Day dance, it's generally expected that you will dance. With her.
* No. 17: St. Valentine was canonized by the Catholic Church in the fifth century, and his feast day has been celebrated on Feb. 14 for almost as long. Your excuse that you didn't know when Valentine's Day was is too feeble for comment.
* No. 18: Tell me, please, that you didn't think giving your valentine a router was really gonna work.
* No. 19: I don't care if you snore the rest of the year; restrain yourself on Valentine's Day evening.
* No. 20: It's sweetheart, dog and truck, in that order. Only one of the aforementioned can be your valentine, and you don't get any clues which one. (Ok, were all screwed! )
Barrett
Your fourth-grade teacher told you that the best way to prevent mistakes in the future was to learn from the mistakes you'd already made.
So the day after Valentine's Day seems a good time to explore, fellas, What Went Wrong.
You can tell something went wrong last night since you woke up in the bed of your truck. ( (Probably not the first time for most of us)
) This is the surest indication that, as far as your sweetie is concerned, your savoir was not faire.Next year, remember that ...
* No. 1: ... It's a bad idea to wait until Valentine's Day to order roses. And there was no chance -- none -- that she wasn't gonna notice that those blooms you presented to her last night are made of rice paper.
* No. 2: Chocolate, in one form or another, is indispensable on Valentine's Day. Had you taken the simple precaution of securing a bag of Hershey's Kisses while you were in the 7-Eleven looking for the last valentine card ("Happy Valentine's Day to My Dear Grandmother"), you could have saved yourself bunking with Fido, Maxie and Cujo.
* No. 3: Just because it says "wine" on the label doesn't mean it's romantic. And this pretty much applies to any wine that says "Boone's Farm."
* No. 4: I may be generalizing here, but most women are not going to react well to receiving a fire-engine red polyester teddy from the dollar store.
* No. 5: You know all of the romantic habits you've developed since you got married? Break them.
* No. 6: Some women don't like facial hair on any guy they're expected to kiss. It's always a good idea to ask.
* No. 7: Valentine's Day is about fantasy, not about gravity. Get rid of those comfort-fit jeans.
* No. 8: You're not Elizabeth Barrett Browning; leave the poesy to Hallmark.
* No. 9: In general, ordering spareribs covered with barbecue sauce is a bad dining strategy, romance-wise.
* No. 10: Take off the damn baseball cap when you go to bed.
* No. 11: Country music about a man leaving a woman, particularly at the altar, will not take you where you want to go.
* No. 12: On the other hand, a country song about a man losing his pickup is an innovative Valentine's Day wooing strategy.
* No. 13: Comparing one's current valentine with one's past valentines is the royal road to having no valentine.
* No. 14: The name's Cupid, not Stupid.
* No. 15: I looked it up: You don't get a pass on Valentine's Day evening just because that's your bowling league night.
* No. 16: If you take your valentine to a Valentine's Day dance, it's generally expected that you will dance. With her.
* No. 17: St. Valentine was canonized by the Catholic Church in the fifth century, and his feast day has been celebrated on Feb. 14 for almost as long. Your excuse that you didn't know when Valentine's Day was is too feeble for comment.
* No. 18: Tell me, please, that you didn't think giving your valentine a router was really gonna work.
* No. 19: I don't care if you snore the rest of the year; restrain yourself on Valentine's Day evening.
* No. 20: It's sweetheart, dog and truck, in that order. Only one of the aforementioned can be your valentine, and you don't get any clues which one. (Ok, were all screwed!
)Barrett
